Category Archives: Experiences

Experiences

Experiences Musings Personal Growth

A change in the direction of my life

About 4 months ago, I wrote about my decision to quit writing full time for now and do it along with a regular day job.

In this while, as you might have noticed, I have posted very infrequently. I have been busy doing quite a handful of things. I recently took up a job in software development. For sometime, I tried to get a job in organization development but that was not working out as soon as I would want it to. So I came back to my old love.

I also decided to move to New Delhi from Bangalore. Making both these changes has been quite demanding.

Before I continue further, I want to say that this post talks entirely of what is going on in my life. Usually, I don’t write such posts but I think I need to keep my readers informed about the direction I am moving in. I feel that you, as a reader of this space, deserve to know what I, the writer of this blog, stand for. So here goes…

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When I started writing, I was fired by the idea of doing something that I deeply connect with, the idea of creating something of my own, of being my own boss, of earning money from my own passion. In the last year and a half, I have seen tremendous growth and I feel like a very different person now.

I am still in love with most of that original idea. There have been some new realizations though that have led to slight changes in my inclination.

What holds

Growth and expansion. With this blog, I got an avenue not only to share my experiences and life lessons with you all, but also to grow as a being and allow myself to expand into my potential. I have gained some rich experiences, like working totally on my own, giving full attention to what I like doing for a whole year and a half, taking this year and a half off from professional work and then getting back at it, looking for a job in a new city of my choice, and I have experienced first hand the effort it takes to make the context switch when you move from one line of work to another…

I still coveat such experiences.

Expression, writing, analysis, observation. This is a place where I feel totally connected with myself and I feel that life force is flowing through me unimpeded. I feel pure and complete. This still holds and keeps me strongly bound to the blog.

I want to continue expressing myself though writing, and other means, I want to continue seeking more knowledge about life, I want to observe this world, and I want to use my mind to analyze and try to make sense of what I see.

Creating things. I still am in love with creating new things, whether they are a piece of software, an article or a book. This I intend to continue.

What gives

Being my own boss. I am not so keen on being my own boss now. According to my current understanding of things, the idea of working alone came out of my habit to keep to myself. I have always avoided connecting with others. But now I feel that, to find deep happiness, one needs to connect deeply, both with one’s own soul and with the souls of those around. There is a deep joy in working with others towards a common goal. With my new job, I see an opportunity to work towards this.

Being a personal development enthusiast. If you have read my About page, which was created towards the beginning of the blog’s life, I call myself a personal development enthusiast. I now realize that my enthusiasm is towards the greater and all encompassing field of life itself. I am more of a life enthusiast! I am an analytical thinker. I am an observer… of life, of people, of myself. I am a seeker… of knowledge, of truth, of wisdom. 

My interest has also started building up in the fields of philosophy, psychology and sociology.

This is causing an expansion in the kind of topics I write on. You might have noticed this in the last few articles already. I am yet to change the About page though. :)

A respite for my cash flow

As far as earning money is concerned, I feel I am OK, for the time being, with getting it from software development. I have always enjoyed software development and it seems to get me money easily. This is not to say that I have abandoned the idea of making money from my writings and my expressions. It is just that I am not too keen on monetizing this persuit for now. For now, I want to just focus on continuing writing from my heart and improving at it.

This move has an added advantage – I just have to write to express myself freely and to create good value. In the past year, whenever my focus was on earning money through my writings, I felt that my writings got a little disconnected from my heart. I wasn’t writing as freely. Whatever was coming out, I wouldn’t feel it truly and clearly reflected my soul.

I feel it is possible to have both but for the time being, I want to focus on just writing and writing well. I want to write from my heart, without much thought to whether the article will attract attention and whether it will turn up on search engines etc.

With this job, the concern about a negative cash flow, that I had while I was writing full time, would be gone. Of course there is the brute force method of just keeping at it until it starts earning me money. I don’t think one way is better than the other, they both probably work. It is just my personal choice and comfort with this particular path right now.

What I expect in the coming days

With this job, and its demanding nature, I see a challenge in managing my writing. I have purposefully pushed myself in this corner. I see a lot of adventure and learning in the days to come and I am excited and eager for it.

Well, this is where I am right now. I am kind of enjoying this uncertainty and feeling very excited and free in the moment. These changes have forced a lot of readjustments and a lot of rethinking about a lot of things. I feel all these changes will spark new realizations, new observations and new insights which I intend to share on this blog. :)

Until next time…

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Career Experiences

In support of changing plans

My last article on why I am moving away from blogging full time got a lot of response from readers. They commented on the article, wrote personal messages to me and some, who know me personally, called me to inquire.

Some people seem to be disheartened and saddened by the decision, they got the idea that I am giving up on blogging.

I am not giving up, I am not leaving blogging. The change in plans is based on certain beliefs I have. I have discussed these before and I will reiterate them here.

Modification to plans

I am just readjusting my plan, the goal still remains the same. To explain further, here is an example from Steve Pavlina that I have quoted before. A plane is off-course almost 90% of the time during its flight. Yet it reaches its destination. How? Because the focus is on the end goal. They just keep readjusting the route all the time and stay more or less close to the expected path. Not perfect, but close.

The goal is more important than the plan. The plan keeps changing, it has to change. Good plans are the ones that are constantly modified and improved as fresh lessons are gained. That is the reason I did not obsess on a strong plan when I started out on this. I tend to make a decent plan, and then jump in. Then I modify my plan along the way, as I learn.

There is another benefit to this, this ensures a lot of adventure. Things are not fixed and you improvise as you go. When you do this, you live life in the moment. You are more receptive to new inputs, to the lessons your journey has for you.

I find this also analogous to an advice often given for fiction writing, plot loosely. When  you just have a loose plot for a story and start writing, you allow your creative genius to bring in fresh and helpful inputs throughout the task. With a rigid plot, you leave no space for deeper insights you gain as you move ahead. You find writing boring because you have already written the story in your mind and are now just rewriting it. But with a loose plot, you keep the whole process interesting till the end. Why not do the same with you life?

A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week. -George S. Patton

Pushing myself into a corner

During a boxing class I once attended, a fellow student was careless with keeping his guard(his hands) up. The instructor kept telling him to hold his guard up but he will do that only for a few seconds and then let it down. The instructor then sparred with him for a while, hitting him in the face again and again. The guy got the lesson, his guard never went down for the rest of the class.

Discomfort is often helpful in your growth and improvement.

One intention I have with this change is to push myself into a corner. I have grown a little comfortable writing posts and doing little else, even though most of the writing gets done in 2-3 hours daily. I have accomplished a lot, no doubt. But there seems to be a plateau setting into my performance. So, with this move, I am trying to break out of it. I am creating a sense of urgency, I am making myself uncomfortable.

The thing is, when you are faced with grave danger or extreme discomfort, there usually are no confusions which direction you have to move in, you act impulsively to save yourself or feel better. You don’t think what is the right thing to do, or what will make you happy. You won’t feel lazy and you won’t be slow or lacking in your execution. You will just act, in the best way you can.

But when there is no threat or discomfort in your life, finding a clear, meaningful and motivating goal gets a little difficult. If this is your predicament too, don’t go out to buy a new toy, just make a change that your heart approves but that otherwise makes you feel a little uncomfortable and insecure.

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. -Proverb

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While change seems uncomfortable, while it breaks the status quo, it is the only thing certain to happen. If we can come to accept it and embrace it, we come to accept a lot of learning, adventure and joy.

What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he sticks in a rut. -Mark Twain

Image credit: David Castillo Dominici

Career Experiences

End of full time Blogging for me

Some of you would probably know that I left a regular, well paying corporate job towards the end of 2010, to start blogging full time. This move has been in alignment with what I consider my ultimate purpose, to lead a conscious and aware life, do things that I connect with, and to help others become more conscious and aware.

Why I did it?

I wanted to bring together my purpose, my interest in writing, my urge to express myself, create something of my own, and make all of these into something that can be a sustainable source of livelihood. I had little idea of how this would work out but wanted to do it never the less.

From my job, I had sufficient savings, that can last me and my wife a few years, if we are thrifty. So we decided to take on the adventure. read more »

Consciousness Experiences

Your camera or your happiness?

Recently, I went to a beautiful hill station here in India. I visited some popular tourist attractions and took a bunch of pictures.

Once back, I made a collection of the pictures I liked and shared them on Facebook(FB). Now if you are on FB, you can probably relate to the satisfaction one can get out of the likes one’s pictures receive.

But when I was taking those pictures and, later, as I was seeking those likes on FB, I felt something was not quite right with the activity. There was something bothering me but I didn’t know what. read more »

Experiences Wellness

The Joy of Bathing

There is something very conscious about lifting a mug of cold water and pouring it over your head. Thought subsides and you become present in that moment.

For me, a bath is a rendezvous with liveliness. It refreshes me and induces me to activity, it takes away stress and leaves me positive. read more »