Most of us, at some point or the other, feel that we have been wronged by someone.
If you are going through that phase, you feel what the person did was absolutely wrong, selfish, and/or with malicious intent. You can see their sneering face, every time you think of it. You feel angry, and you feel strongly that they should be made to realize the bad they have done, feel sorry for their mistake and pay for it.
All that was good in your life is now overshadowed by the weight of this heavy feeling. Your happiness now seems to be hostage to what they do now and what gets done to them.
Yet there is something in them that you can empathize with…
If you think of it, you know inside that they are not very happy souls themselves. They have to do this again and again to feel happy, they don’t have happiness inherent in them. They may have satisfied their ego momentarily by humiliating and humbling you but this happiness won’t last long. Just like most of us, they are victims of their lesser beliefs, habits and attitudes.
And isn’t it the same problem that you, to some degree, have too? You know that by brooding over what happened, by feeling angry, you are doing no good. In fact, you do a lot of harm to your own well being. Still you can’t stop doing it. You too, are victim to your habits and mind.
In this, probably, you are both brothers. You are both at a loss of control over your own thoughts that kill you slowly and slowly. You are both the victims of the same victor.
If you decide to have revenge, you will go through the same yourself, and then it will all be repeated over and over. But, to what results? Even if you were to win in the end, what will you gain for all this pain? Just a momentary feeling of elation, followed by a void.
I know the realization that you have been wronged is very unpleasant, it robs all happiness. It seems like no one really understands and appreciates the hurt you have felt. An empathetic smile is such a welcome but, alas, rare gift at such a moment. The same hapless condition is of your brother there.
No one may be giving you that understanding ear, but you have here, the opportunity to make a good start yourself. When you see this brother who wronged you, and is himself in a bad state, just give him a genuine smile. No, he probably won’t acknowledge it right away. There will most probably be no immediate results. Yet it will register in his mind, it will grow on him. He may scoff at you, but he will find himself increasingly question your gesture in his mind. He may be suspicious at first, but slowly, over the course of a few smiles, his heart will start yielding to the friendly intention behind your gesture.
He badly needs that smile. In his ego, he may be putting up a pretense of happiness but he badly needs someone to empathize and understand his plight, for he cannot himself understand that, which is eating at him from the inside. If you are patient and willing to listen, he will pour out his troubles to you. He just wants to be heard and understood.