On the look for a boyfriend? – 6 things to keep in mind

photo © 2005 Justin | more info (via: Wylio)

On the look for a boyfriend?

Last week’s article on what guys looking for a girlfriend can do, generated a lot of interest. In this article, I am taking up the case for girls out on the look for a boyfriend. Apart from some common fears and doubts, girls have their own unique problems when they want to get into a relationship.

Here are some things you can do, as a girl, to attract guys to you.

Attractive looks. Looks are very important to guys. There is no denying this. The more attractive a female, the more attracted the guys are to her. Of course this is not all, guys look for other traits as well, but this is always one of the high priority ones, and certainly one that will make the first impression.

If you think you are not very good looking, don’t get disheartened by this. No matter what, the course your life takes, what you get in life, is totally in your hands. Each one of you can be beautiful to some people with whom you can share a deep, meaningful connection. Read the next point.

Love yourself. Attraction has more to do with how you carry yourself. I have seen girls transform totally from dull and unattractive to pleasing and attractive just with a resolve to do it. You don’t need every guy to swoon over you. You may think that girl’s who are beautiful, are happier. Dig deeper, does their beauty really make them happy? I doubt it. But here is what I know for sure, any woman who is comfortable with herself and has come to accept herself as what she is, will find others accepting her too. The image others hold of you is not something they create, it is something that YOU create. Just start believing that you are deserving of what you want and act that way. Put some effort into what goes well with your demeanor.

Give some attention to what you wear, to your hair style. Wear what looks good on you. This may take some experimenting and effort.

Most important, feel comfortable with yourself.

Understand differences. While you are sensitive, gentle and subtle, guys are not so. Guys have different traits. Guys like good looks, guys have a greater inclination towards getting physical, guys like thrill and adventure, guys like talking straight and logical. This is how most guys are, there will still be some who won’t exhibit some or even all of these traits. I don’t know why guys are so, and I see no point in getting angry about it or trying to decide who is better. That doesn’t help you find a boy friend, in fact, it doesn’t help your life in general. Accept what is and then go about working with this knowledge.

I believe in a friendly Universe, I believe whatever is, is good and I believe if I try, I can get anything I want. I see no point in fretting over the way things are. Accept that guys are the way they are. Don’t be at war. Work with the knowledge of guys you have. When you make some efforts, you will learn new things and grow your knowledge and be better at creating and maintaining good connections.

A relationship requires respect for mutual tastes. To make yourself attractive, you have to respect what appeals to them. But this should not mean you loose your core personality trying to do so. That will cause trouble sooner or later. Find a balance between the two. The balance will come when you try. You will learn about the right balance as you keep trying and improving.

Listen to your inner guide. Being a woman, you have a very strong intuition. Use it. Listen to your inner Guide. Connect with those people with whom you feel a positive bond with. This will either lead you to your soul mate or to some great learning.

Don’t wait for the prince on a white horse. Make some effort. Make some EFFORT..! I keep repeating that. Don’t be afraid, lead guys on. Give them some hints. If these don’t work, give stronger hints. Don’t be afraid. Life is all a trial – error – learning – improvement – retrial process. Try and be ready to learn.

There might be that girl who found her best match the very first time she made a boyfriend in college, there might be those who don’t seem to try at all but still all the guys seem to be interested in them. Feeling bad and jealous of them is not going to help you. Don’t compare yourself with others. No two lives are the same but the one who tries relentlessly, will find success sooner or later, in love and otherwise. Everyone has some opportunities thrown at them from time to time. They may be distributed unevenly throughout life. One who keeps trying will make the most of his/her opportunities, whenever they come by.

Have faith. Trying to create meaningful relationships usually involves heart breaks and hurt in the beginning. Don’t be afraid of them, don’t quit. This is a process that helps you become better, that makes you stronger for the life ahead. I had my share of experiences that felt bad when they happened. Some almost felt like they sucked the life out of me. But all of them made me better and stronger. With each try, I got to know what I liked more clearly. With each try, I gained more strength to keep trying.

A bad experience with someone doesn’t mean every experience would be same. Don’t allow the hurt to keep you from trying again. Have faith. Give it another try. What you desire will come to you eventually.

*****

As I said in the previous post on finding girlfriends , effort is the most important thing here. You don’t need to be very smart, you don’t need to have killer looks, but you do need a resolve to make the effort and the discipline to keep at it until you get what you want. In essence, this is the same as getting any other thing in life.

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