It’s Valentine’s day, a celebration of love. The focus, it seems, is more on romantic love.
A lot of people have someone to share it with. But there are also a lot who have no one with whom to celebrate along.
Personally, I don’t attach a lot of importance to it. Celebrating something on a particular day feels like I am not celebrating it on other days. Love, to me, is an everyday thing.
Having said that, I recall feeling a bit lonely on some previous Valentine Days, when I was single and a lot of my friends had their partners. I think a lot of people who are single today will feel the same. If you are one of them, here are a few things you can do. These things won’t find you a partner today, that will require effort. What I can guarantee though is, if you start implementing these, you will start feeling good and positive right away.
1. Make a resolution to find your special someone. Recently, an acquaintance of mine who is looking out for that special someone, said that person is going to walk into her life someday. That’s just wishful thinking. Like any other thing in life, you have to make efforts towards finding your special someone. And before you make efforts to get something, comes a resolution, a burning desire to get it.
Resolve to make the required efforts towards finding your partner. Make it into a burning desire.
2. What would your partner be like? Sit down, think about what your ideal partner would be like. What kind of qualities he/she would possess? Be practical, don’t ask for a prince on a white horse(white is any ways difficult to maintain). Think about and note down the core qualities you cannot do without. This activity may take some time and thinking, but it is worth doing. A lot of people, in their desperation, try to get along with any person of the opposite sex they can find. Many of them repent their choice later.
Have a clear picture of what you want.
3. Finding the right people. When you are trying to find the right one from among many, it makes sense to meet as many as you can, to speed up the process. And that’s not all. Don’t just go about meeting any body and every body. Be smart, filter out less probability areas and look in high probability places. If you are interested in sports and want your partner to be the same, one obvious thing to do, among others, is to join a sports club. Did I just hear you sigh because this requires effort? I told you, it is not going to fall into your lap, you will have to make some effort. It’s either continuous effort and sweet success later, or just feeling bad and low for ever, until your parents find you a match or, in desperation, you fall for the wrong person without checking compatibility.
Think where can you find more people of the type you want. Go to those places often. Yo can check out meetup.com for activities in your city. If there is a relevant meetup, join it. If none is present, you can create one.
4. Create an action plan. Once you are decided on what kind of person you want and where can you find him/her, create an action plan. Write it down. List clearly the actions you are going to take. Writing down something brings more clarity and purpose to your plan.
5. Start acting! Action is the culmination of all your planning. Planning stands for nothing if it does not get implemented. Bring you plans into reality by acting on your plan. I know your plan can be better and you might have the urge to refine it a bit more. Pull back on that urge. It’s just your mind playing games with you, to postpone doing something it finds uncomfortable. Start acting on your plans! You can refine it as you go along.
Do at least a little something today, to move towards your goal. It can be as small as calling upon someone you like.
6. Fail your way to love. All the steps I mention above can meet with failure. You might fail to follow your plan properly, your will power may go up and down, some people you try to connect to may reject you outright. This is a normal part of finding your partner, or for achieving any goal for that matter. You try, you fail, you learn. Then you try again. This repeats until you meet with success.
Success is not for the meek. If you really want something, create a burning desire for it in your heart. Prepare yourself for the challenges ahead. Each failure will make you a better, more experienced, more courageous person. If someone laughs at you, smile and pass by. Only those laugh who feel insecure themselves. Don’t feel disheartened, they are just projecting their reality onto you. Don’t engage with them either, focus on your goal. They are not going to learn and achieve, you will.
You might also like to read http://www.rahulspeaks.com/2010/10/finding-love-in-your-life/
If you have any interesting ideas to share, or your story, your success, or your particular challenges, do write something in comments below.